ello cain I elp u?

True story, circa 8:15 monday morning.

Sexy sultry voice: Thank you for calling the washington mutual easy phone credit line, for service this call may be recorded, press one to talk to someone in India, Beruit, or Lebanon.....BEEP 1

operater: elo, maay ei hiave yuuur tin deget id nueeembeer

Me: uh

operator: tha nuuumbeer ohn botom curner of invitetiooon

Me: sorry, dialed the wrong number.......click

cant even do my business over the phone, on a good note..Im actually begining to understand close to 81 languages!!!!!!

Far too stupid to understand

The rose, ah, the symbol of love, every one has its thorns ya know.......bullshit
The rose gets far too much press, I myself would hate a love symbolized by a rose. Roses die, trust me, the 75 bucks worth of flowers on my wifes desk prove it......one day, DEAD (hope our love lasts longer)
Roses are weak, expensive, over done and worn out. I introduce my symbol of love.......the dandylion.
Dandylions can survive anything, heat, cold, lawn mowers, ortho round-up, what a stud of a flower!!!! What? you call it a weed, an invasive species? well isnt love an invasive species? I used to have my own pad, GONE, I used to spend my own money,Gone gone gone, I even tried to kill our love, but it survived, yes the dandylionis definately the crest of my marriage. Even when the flower is gone seeds appear, springing forth ten times more dandylions than before, if unhinderd they would envelop the world, just like love, undestroyed. So, if you truely love someone tommorrow give them a batch of this resiliant little weed and see if the person you love is deep enough to get it..........or dump them.

Keep your handi-capable child out of my life!!!!!!

Yesterday as I walked out of the grocery I saw a young man in the stores work attire push a cart directly into my passat, I just about lost it! I raced forward to confront and brace this moron he turned to face me and I was abruptly stopped, The booger trail and No.3 ceasar haircut instantly Identified him as one of the stores "special needs" employees (destroying overpriced german cars) Ok so I admit Im one of those people,You know, the guy who bought a vw becouse he could not afford a benz. And I listen to Bob Dylan while smoking Marb reds cause I think Im cool or something. (my other car is a crap 89 bronco though, street cred?) So I approached slowly and of course faked like it wasnt my car and did a lap to avoid him as not to embarrass the man who just creamed my auto. But in hindsight Im pissed that I had to avoid this interaction becouse he may be of diminished capacity or easy to upset, screw that!!!! I am tired of waiting in the coffe line or drive through cause some idiot thought it was a good idea to put an elderly person or handi-capable person there during rush time. I understand promoting people to work but dammit parents quit lying to your children!!! You cannot do anything you put your mind to! You cannot be a marine welder if you have asmha, if you weigh 300 lbs you cannot be an olympic sprinter, felons cannot be cops (they can however be politicans) Hillary Clinton cannot be president! Its a fact, You cannot be "anything" you want. So I have made a list of the Jobs these people can do.
1. Road work shovel guy.
2. President
3. realtor
4. suicide bomber
5. High school gym teacher (pay back time bitches!!!)
6. purfume sniper at wal-mart
7. food sample guy at costco
8. us ambassador to Poland
9. my cell phone providers operater ( hey if they speak english well that would kick butt!!)
10. Vice president

So in closing, I feel better! this blogging rules!!!!