HO HO HELP!!!!!!!!

Ive spent most of my adult life wandering... fishing for a living doesnt really tie you to land or a specific home. So now that married life has tied me to a small corner lot and a humble sized home the task of christmas lights has fallen on my shoulders. And I must admit it is freakin killin me!!! put up string of lights, they dont work, get smart and test next set before install..... all good. Cover front of house, plug in...crap! middle string doesnt flash like rest of them, wife notices, back to page one. Wire reindeer dont stand up well, overload front light socket and crash wifes computer in the middle of work.. say some very unchristmas like words.... start over. cant you pay anyone to do this?